There are occasions when we internalise blame in order to protect ourselves from trauma caused by others. However, we wind up gaslighting ourselves in the act of defending ourselves. “Self-gaslighting can often be a self-protective manoeuvre – trying to get ahead of the gaslighting or invalidation of others,” therapist Ramani Durvasula stated. Most of the time, it is an internalisation of the invalidating, minimising, and humiliating narrative of the selfish individuals in your life. Selfish people brainwash you into feeling you are less than, not enough, so you frequently doubt your own reality and undermine yourself.”
Dr Ramani Durvasula went on to describe the indicators that we are self-gaslighting:
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Assuming we’re wrong:
Instead of considering that anything or someone else may also be to blame for a mistake, we always assume we’re wrong. As a result, we wind up being harsh on ourselves and harbouring a great deal of remorse for a long period.
Apologising:
We must accept responsibility for our faults. But even when we are not at blame, we end ourselves apologising just to maintain the peace. This gives us even less confidence in ourselves and practically no trust.
Toxic self-talk:
The way we say to ourselves in our heads accounts for a large portion of the trust and confidence we have in ourselves. When we use adjectives like stupid or dumb on ourselves in our minds, our self-esteem plummets even lower.
Undercutting skills:
When we repeatedly undercut our own abilities in front of others, we lose confidence and abilities in ourselves and others.
Minimising accomplishments:
While diminishing our own accomplishments may seem like humility for a while, it also makes our accomplishments appear little.
